I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
