Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize