Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
