Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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