pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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