i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
