Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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