You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
