I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
