Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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