I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize