she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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