The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
did i just pee glitter
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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