Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
