I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
