he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
