You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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