i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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