jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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