There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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