i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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