i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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