He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize