I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
wow bdsm is so cute
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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