the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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