remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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