Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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