So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
