i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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