why didn't you poke me back
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
