what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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