Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
