You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
