Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
