It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
