It's like God shit irony all over that family
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
