you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
