she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
