it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Send help, water and tortillas.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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