ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
