he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
