so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
