Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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