so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
