when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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