"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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