I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
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So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
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It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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