I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Text me some of your sweat
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