Got a toothbrush?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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