Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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