my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
