who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize