wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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