u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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