yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize