Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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