Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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