What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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